ramblings!

Hmm in school the whole day:( was on the com and just looking around. actually i have a lot to do but just don't feel like getting to it right now. It's a rainy day. Rainy day:( glum. hmmmm.i want the sun and the heat that comes with it. i want the sea and it's wonderful breeze. i want to be free from voices around and in my mind. i want quiet. everything to stop so that i can be the only one walking in it. i want to take my time to see everything and feel everything without anything or anyone bothering me. i want the raindrops to stop in mid air. i want to just slow down. Is it all about doing doing doing? practice makes perfect they say. i don't know what to say anymore.

ramblings.....

Feeling Better!!!

Please read reply

Was just praying just now. And i was quite discouraged about alot of things and i was complaining to god how i had all these flaws and sins in my life. And that they were stopping me from doing more for him. U know how it is when not alot is going your way and u start going about how bad u are that's why God's not using you. Blah Blah, i was was doing my fair share of it, then i think it really provoked God. I just felt something spoke in to my spirit like " what makes u think u are not good enough? And what makes u think that u not being used not because u have all these sins and not because i'm saving something bigger for you?" It was along these lines. I was quite shocked. I was really encouraged. I was singing this song and one of the lines went" Nothing that you have done could ever close the door." I just felt that that God looks beyond our sins and even in the midst of our imperfection, i think God can still use us. i Still remember something Xin Hong told me and that is when God saved us, God knew exactly what he was getting in to. He saved us for who we are. I just felt in my heart that God is a very stable God, He isn't panicking about a wrong bet he bought when we fall to sin. He knows that we will fall and yet still want us. i feel right now like i'm really good enough. But God in the meantime please really clean me up!

Mental tracks

Been having a crazy time of my life these past months. Things have been really rough but i'm glad i went through all the things i went through. Many things change and many cause and effects happened. Although i want to to say i have many regrets, i think i shouldn't regret anything that happened. I didn't like what i went through but i felt it was absolutely necessary i went through them. I'm off for a new start and over this period of time i think i have really grown as a person. Living for God isn't really an easy thing sometimes. It used to be a lot easier when i first started but as i moved on it really test my patience, or i should say everything. I'm glad I'm still a Christian after all this time. i was watching evans almighty the other day and something in it kind of ringed a bell. In the show God gave a few examples. He asked that if we prayed to be courageous, does god give u courage or give u an opportunity to be courageous? or if we ask that we have a closer family, does God give u a closer family or an opportunity to have a closer family? This kept me thinking. In my opinion it's both, first he gives the capacity then the opportunity. Then i thought again. We must be careful what we ask for. We ask that God give us patience, can u imagine what kind of people will let us meet or if we prayed that we want to do great works, can u imagine what kind of difficulty we have to face. We pray that we want to be secure, can u imagine the kind of things that will test ur security. I don't know about u but this tell me that we must be really careful what we ask for and more than just that, we really have to mentally prepare ourselves of what we will meet. i mean probably when u read this u go like oh i know that and stuff but when u go through difficult times, think about it, are u going to stand up to the test and remember that all these are just tests?
There is just so much out there that are waiting to tear us apart but yet none of that happens until u pray and are ready to face it. That's how good god is. i truly believe that God place everything in my life to grow me, no matter what.

listening to lectures

Was listening to lectures online these few days. U know what i actually find studying fun. I actually understood the lectures. Hmmm think i need to catch up alot faster though exams are in like 3 weeks. Don't know y actually studying can be quite easy if u stop hating it :) What do u think?

What is love

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Cor 13: 4-8
Find out who u are and purpose to act it out.
-a walk to remember

Quizzzz

This week is almost half over. i can't wait for Saturday to be so over. Sometimes schools so stressful and u end up doing all sorts of silly and unnecessary things. u know how u are suppose to study but it's just so overwhelming that u don't feel like studying anymore, then u end up doing something dumb. oh well! study is good for u. The result of getting an honors is definitely worth it.
i must get back to study now!

Work

Recess is super over now and i stand looking at 4 quizzes and one full lab report. God u must help me this time. i have so much inertia to work right now. This past weeks has been quite rough but i guess it's over now. I was talking to a friend just now and was really encourage that when God saved us he know what he was getting into. God is in the business of changing me into a better person. I've decided to let things go and move on. though still a bit sore from things but i think i'll be fine. God is good. think it's time for me to focus and do well and excell.

India

I don't know whether u guys will believe me but i actually went to india. kinda of missed army today so i was thinking of india where i had all the fun. It was a fantastic trip with my best buddies Isaac and KH. It's more than a year ago already. Time really flies i tell. They practically have wings. Actually i can't wait to wait to go for a trip like that next year, really need to save up. hmmm. ok i am craz about pictures so here they are

some kids that wanted our bottles. They are really cute and they love criket.

Desert sunset. Cool huh

What's going to india without vising the famous Taj.

Public apology

Hi everyone,

just want to make an apology for the two articles "Somebody's someone" and "miss someone". Think it has been quite a rumour and caused quite alot of commotion. Just want to apologise for the irresponsible act of not considering the consequence. i want to apologise for being childish and myopic, not considering about the aftermath of the two articles. I just want to make clear that the articles was not meant to demean or to embarassed, so whoever is involved just want to say sorry. Most importantly please do not let any of this these jeapordize any friendships. Let not any relationships be broken beacuse of this. I apologize causing all this strife again.

Perspective

i haven been thinking alot lately and many things came through my mind.

i was thinking that life is all about working hard and preparing yourselves. Opportunities come and go. So the only way is to prepare and when it comes u will have no regrets. i need to work harder.

Next i have been thinking about friendships. Your close friend is only close when it's both ways. I decided that i should just be comfortable with how i relate to others but not expect anything in return. That way i think everything extra becomes a blessing right?

hmmm i reliase that there are many people reading my blog i'm really open to comments so u guys can email me or post a comment u would like to voice your views:)

sorry

Today i did something really wrong. I accused a friend of things that he never did. I accused him of not treating me as a friend and said really alot of nasty and ungrateful thing. I wonder y i slammed him the way i did. i really took him for granted that everytime i say something that he will forgive me. i wronged him big time. i know it's a wound that will form a scar that will never be forgotten. i'm sorry. Now because of what i said, there will be many consequences that i am going to have to bear. many things that i will have to give up. Many times the closer i get to a friend, the more i do stupid things to them thinking that they have to put up with my lousy attitude.i am glad this friend forgave me. i love and respect him dearly. i know i am still childish and immature in many ways and i'm not proud of it. Spilt milk what can i do? Friend i'm really sorry. Don't think u will be reading this but if u are. i'm sorry. if there is smth u need i will do it for u. just tell me. i'm really really sorry

i feel encouraged.

have u guys ever wondered what u are worth?
i constantly ponder.
is it in terms of....... money........ ppl's opinions....... etc?

i am still in the finding!

Everyone wants to be special

what if u are not?

What if u are?

then what?

i was talking to a friend and this came to my mind.

God has a special way for every one of us, his special way. God knows how i am like and the issues i have. He carefully deals with my every emotion, every need. i know i'm in good hands. i can have rest:)

SOT GRAD

Thoughts

Hai i know some of you guys are waithing for the SOT pics but seriously there is like a million pics. I must find a way to do it.

Anyway, i have been super unproductive these few days. I really need to streamline my my to make it more effective.

Just a few things

For those who read my blog because of the videos. Hmm yeah that's me, sometimes i just get into these funny modes of craziness. hahaha. But i'm not like that all the time so don't worry.

For Marwin's friends. Seriously i'm STRAIGHT so please don't let him spoil my good name.

For those whom i don't know reading my blog. I'm really fine if u tag so don't worry.

Plus really sorry not blogging much lately. University is kinda of heavy with work and loads more. Sometimes you just don't know where to start and you waste more time. Hai. ok enough of blogging i need to get back to work:)

Xin Hong says

Xin Hong says:
God showed me something when I was 15
keith says:
show what?
Xin Hong says:
I was climbing a mountain in malaysia
Xin Hong says:
I lost my glasses
Xin Hong says:
But I told myself I wanted to be first up on that mountain
Xin Hong says:
So I just charge ahead right behind the local guide
Xin Hong says:
Why?
Xin Hong says:
Cos God showed me that everyday we live, everything we accomplish, everything we do
Xin Hong says:
We are writing our own story. Our own novel.
Xin Hong says:
That this life, can turn up as one of thousands of God's failures, or one of His few successes
Xin Hong says:
Simply by our actions and decisions
Xin Hong says:
We are writing our own history every single day
Xin Hong says:
And I told myself at the end of my life, I want to look back and know that the novel I have written was one darn good read
Xin Hong says:
And I encourage you to do all you can, burn those bridges and make your novel one darn good read too
Xin Hong says:
There are still many pages in there keith
Xin Hong says:
Just write with care and I'm sure you will have a really nice book by the time you are done
Xin Hong says:
When you think of life like that, it makes you do Crazy things. Crazy but not stupid. Radical, Crazy and audacious things
Xin Hong says:
you just tell yourself, dang, it's between success and failure. Count my cost and just go in for the kill and go for success
Xin Hong says:
And many times, you will get it

Xin Hong says:
But God challenged me that day, "What will people remember you for? Will they remember you for being number 2?" That essentially drove me up the mountain

Fantastic Day

It's teacher's day and this is what i got! Jeans!!! yeah! All u tuition teachers out there be jealous ok!! How many people have their tuition kids buying them stuff. And guess who bought it?

Yes!

THE SLASHER!!!!

(marwin)

I love my jeans i'm going to wear it tmr and on sat! U know what i have been wanting a pair of jeans actually. And he got me a colour that i didn't have. Plus it like super nice lah.
Happy Teacher's Day!

Anyway i really think that Marwin has really been a blessing from heaven. I tell u it's really God. I think Me and Marwin are going to be friends not just teacher and student. I actually like hanging out with him. Hahaha. Quite crapy loh that Guy. For all Who DOn't know him It's ur lost!!! Again if Marwin u are reading this. Thank U!!!!!!

By the way I just cut my hair today! Went back to my old time hairstylist. I tell u i simply love them. They are just so professional. By the way i cut at far east plaza "Expect". It's really not bad and not too expensive. My hair stylist is called Grace. She's good i tell u. I asked her to cut 白痴 hairstyle and it turned out not bad, at least i like it. Heee!

Batam Photos i took. This is on the ferry! It was wonderful sitting alone. I love the solitude

Ok this is Ming li! But her english name is called Beng li. So we bought her a Beng Beng stick. She's is one of those persons i love hanging out with in SOT. She is super nice and friendly. Another loss if u don't know her. So thank u for being the fun person u are!!!

Pic took!!!

A picture i took at marina south using Willy's camera. I just love the colours. Don't u?

SOT Coming to a close.

As SOT comes to a close, I am actually quite excited about finishing it. I Don't know what what's gonna happen but i really wanna do something. Nothing has really been fixed as yet but i know that there are many things that are coming my way. I don't know what but i am just waiting. These past four months has been amazing and really my life has changed. Something in me just isn't the same anymore. Don't know how to explain that kind of feeling it just isn't the same anymore! one more week! one more week!

It's ok to be me

Today i was thinking about myself, about who i really am. There are many things that i am not happy with myself and things that people always laugh. Sometimes i really don't want to be me. But today something resolved in my mind. Somehow i felt that it was ok to be me. Someone told me that i just can't make everyone happy and there are bound to be people that don't like me. I mean i want to be liked and to be favoured and many times i try to be who i'm not just to fit in. Today something in me felt this: It's really ok to be me.

Pondering.

was watching the 7 o'clock chinese show toay. Call me china pok if u want. I was deeply touched. What would u do if one day ur loved one were to have something really bad happening to them? I mean like the the really traumatizing kind. And how sacrificial would u be? i cannot express the kind of feeling in my heart. i really felt convicted. I mean even in small things that i am asked to do among my friends sometimes i already whine ( yes for all of u out there! i admit that i whine). It's really not easy to do things for the sake of others. I mean would you do something extra just for a friend even if it inconvenienced yourself. I mean many times when bad things happen to our friends, we just go and say like are u ok and stuff. Then try to talk to the person. I always thought that talking would help but i realised most of the time people don't really want to talk. During this time would you go all the way down to the person's house in say pasir ris and u stay in like jurong. U are tired and u have a lot of work to rush plus next day u have to wake up at 7. It's already 10 in the night. Ur friend sounded depressed and just wanted to talk to u for no reason but u know that the person needs it. ok this is a close but not so close friend just a ok good friend. would you go all the way? it's really tough and for myself and i struggle. I mean the person is not so close what. hai But watching the show really made me think. i was really inspired to try my best to be more thoughtful. hmmm....

Sorry sometimes i can be very emotional about things but well i personally feel that we should get in touch with our feelings yet not too carried away by it.

Transformers: More than meets the eye.

I finally watched it today. It was sooo good. The way the transformers change into the vehicles it's just way cool. It went like 'shing' 'shing' 'shing' ' shing shing'. It's really childhood fantasy come true. The effects was so super good. Plus i only spent a mere 6 dollars for the show at cathay that was totally worth it. I went with my buddy Willy. I cannot believe that i didn't like Transformers when i was young.

Now I repent!!!

To couple with my Transfomer watching i have my Robot Necklace from The Life Shop. For those who don't know me. I love necklaces. Especially weird ones. Maybe one day i can blog on my assessories. Don't u think Mr Robot is so cool! I don't mind to watch Transformers again!!! maybe i should buy the DVD.



On top of the Fantanbulous Transformers i went to Kuching Kolo Mee @ killiney road today. I ordered one for a mere $6. The noodles were so thin, covered a mild layer of aromatic sesame oil. The smooth texture ooooooo....... The bite had this something to it that was just soo ......... springy!
The Char Siew roasted just right... sweet and tender. The minced pork with special seasoning was exceptional. Then u have the choice of having either prawns or abalone which i chose prawns ( will try abalone next time) was very chewy. ooo i love the bite of it. Yum! Of cos topped with vegetables and garnish to complete the look.Yeap there u have it Sarawak Kuching Kolo Noodles. U MUST TRY IT!!!


The pic is for real!!!

A tinsy winsy abt myself

Yes the Pic u are looking at is where i stay. Nice right. I love my house. ok the pic on top is not the best, during time i took it. hee That's y i made it so small. hahaha. Anyway my house is right in front of a water body and it's on a hill so 有山有水. I love it. i went to the park to read my book once. I was feeling quite down that day. I really enjoyed it. U guys should try it. Reading ur book alone in a park really makes u feel like u own urself again. After doing that i was really happy. I felt like i have time for myself again. U guys should do that some time.

So there u have it! me and me book!
I found these toadstools growing in the park. This is something i really like. I really like the small things in life that u discover and the experience u find is like ur little secret. Sometimes we just get into this mad rush and we fail to see the beauty of things and people around. So slow down take ur time appreciate!

By the way i think there are alot of people who read my blog that i do not know. I just want to tell u guys that u guys feel free to leave comments or leave ur email address on the tag. I don't mind another friend! Really expecting some people to msg mua soon!!!Don't be shy alrighty:)

A Prelude

Hi blog readers!!!

It has been an extremely exciting week for me. Did a drama on sat which turned out not bad. Ate like a mountain of seafood. i haven't gotten the pictures from my friend to update the blog. Gonna get it tmr. So excited. U have to pardon me for not blogging this week. It's super tiring and there are a million things i haven't done! AHHHHHHHH. Anyway i just i want to thank you! YES U THERE! Reading my blog right now! Thank u for ur support! It has barely been a month and u guys help me just hit my first 500. Thank u Sooooooooooo much:)

Me and Me Dentist

Went out with my favourite dentist on Sat. Hahaha. She sure knows how to bribe me with Ricola and tell me the benefits of it. It has some artifical sweetner that does not promote tooth decay unlike other sweets. Elderflowers is really good ok. It has this subtle herby taste to it. Well Back to my bribing dentist. Her name is Cai Xingni NOT Xing Ni. The space matters ok. Yeap she bugged me for that mistake like forever ok. I call her Prissy. She is very gentle with the teeth, very skilled with her practical. She's actually still an appretice dentist but she quite good lah. She only inflicts pain on herself so don't worry ( private joke! if u know what i mean)
Below is her picccc with the ever supernice thick, creamy choclate fudge cake. I tell u there was more chocolate than sponge. It's from Cafe Cartel and we bought it with a sum total of $2.45. Can u believe it?

That's me resistin the temptation of the simply scrumpalicious cake. I can't wait for my next one.

English Lesson

The word for the day is ASSIDUITY. Mr XH taught me today. He said he it means sit on ur ass and do it. I thought he made it up but seriously it means that. I put the link up. I cannot believe it myself. It's true. Actually it's kind of inspired me to really be digilient that in whatever u do u have to sit down till its done. Always lack that discipline. ok i decided to try and sit on my ass. Opps i almost forgot that i must after sitting on my ass do things hahaha. so guys say with me air-see-dui-tee, assiduty. hahah.

My 8 year old brother!!!

I am not Kidding! he is really my brother this is not just his childhood picture but it is him NOW! Yes he is 8 years old. Alright i know what u are thinking right now. You must think i did something wrong when i was younger right? NO wrong he is not my son!! He is my brother. Yeap. We have a 14 years age gap. Talk about generation gap. HAHAHA! OK we do get along lah. He's actually quite monstrous sometimes but he is super good at making u like him after that. Yeap my brother is a PHD in relationships. He's quite a good boy and I do not torture him (this is for u Daryl if u are reading this! hee!). Maybe i'll bring him for the party on NDP.

The SLA......SHER

Today i'm going to blog about my tuition kid. His name? Marwin Alfredo. Ok it's kinda hard to get his picture cos he is apparently "camera shy". He is meek and nice, kind and loving, peaceful and tranquil. ......... NOT!!!! i wish! My tuition kid is extremely interesting i tell u and i do mean extremely. He never fails to amaze me with his violence. The last time he told me that he used to beat his friends up and even tore his friend's bag before. Can u imagine? Almost got expelled. I mean i was like how bad can u get right! BUT yesterday he told me that he did something worse. Think u can guess from the title! yes he was a slasher (not flasher! no typo hahah). Yeap he was irritated one day and took out a penknife and slashed his friend. Seriously! well of cos the friend provoked him but oh well. So there u have it, THE SLASHER. Ok now u must be worrying for me the decent looking, mr goody goody teacher as u can see from the pic below.
U must think i'm in absolutely grave, life threatening, meat slicing danger. OK RELAXXXXX! THANK GOD it was his past!!! He's really very changed now. Although sometimes he can be really irritating with his name calling (stop being irritating), he is really a good guy. An extremely loyal friend. His philosophy? If u treat him nice, he will treat u nice. u must be wondering y he changed! i was too so i asked and he told me it was God. hmm who is this God??? he never fails to amaze. I mean like u always hear stories like that right. It's until u know someone like that u would never atually know how real it is............

SeNToSa!!!

Was kinda bored when i was doing so took some twigs and started twisting and stuff. So that's Sentosa for u! After u finished with ur games, food, tan, u start doing things like this. didn't resize my pics so it's kinda taking a million years to upload this . hai!!!

Yeap we were at Siloso beach!!!. Thinking of going to Sentosa already. Don't u think it's quite a good shot.

This is again ME!!! I think i look different everytime. Maybe it's my ever-colour-fading hair. i think i'm too fair. My skin looks soft and supple. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Pray i get a tan sooon ok. The pictures are really driving me nuts. Willy y didn't u send me the resizwer sooner.

This is called island life. I thought this was quite a good shot. Don't u think? By the way he's Zheng Wei. Any takers?( Zheng wei u better thank me for glamourizing u ok. )

Everyone deserves a nice sunset after along day at the beach. By the way this is Sentosa for all u love birds out there. Who says singapore got no sunset!!!!!!

Dreams

Where do i go?
What do i do?
Seeing people succeed,
a subtle regret
Why didn't i do that too?

Where do i go?
What do i do?
My heart yearns to do more.
My hopes waver everyday.
When is it my turn?

Where do i go?
What do i do?
Patient and more patience?
Endure and more endurance?

How long more?
How long more?



Have u felt this way? like your life is going really slowly and i do mean reallllllliiiiiii slowly. i must admit that this happens all the time for me. But as i go along in life i feel like actually though i want all my dreams to still happen but i'm not really so hard up for it anymore. I used to jump at any opportunity that comes or create my own opportunity through manipulative methods. I bet most of us do. I'm starting to realise that actually i am not happy at all that way. i realise that if i take things slow and let them come naturally, i actually feel less pressured and everything comes as a pleasant surprise. i guess i'm getting old. heeee. cos i more patient with myself heee. (hmm old=patient???)

Mystery girl!!!!

Hey everyone!!! Look WHAT i FOUND. Nothing special? Look closer! It's someone u guys know. Seriously the first time i saw it i had a shock. A real Shock. I bet u must be wondering now right how come she looks so familiar. will tell u all again!

A Long Walk Home

A fantastic pic by Melvin Migin. I just love the colour of the sea, gives you this surreal feel. And i just love wood. It's really my thing, wood just makes me feel so alive, so down to earth. Don't you feel this strange peace when you look at the pic.

A Long Walk Home.

Healing

Today in church was just amazing. Bobby asked for ppl who had backache and he kinda of demostrated how healing should be done. He asked the person who needed healing to lean back against a wall andasked that the person stretch out her hands ( if ur hands were not balanced and were stretched with unequal length, it means that u have a back problem.) Of cos the person who went up had the problem and her hand was like one finger segment unequal. Then everyone prayed and her finger started to extend and her backache was gone. OK that was great but not the greatest cos it happened to me toooo.
U have no idea how amazed i was. I had been having frequent backaches and there were times when i couldn't even sit down but well that's normal, i think. Actually i didn't feel that it was that serious but i thought i should get healed too. So i had a few friends who wanted to practice praying for me so we went to the wall and true enough my hands were unequal and it was really obvious. The ppl prayed but i was telling myself to not move my hands to make sure that it was a real healing. I TELL U MY HANDS MOVED NOT AT MY WILL AND IT BALANCED UP. Everyone was was shocked cos it didn't take like 10 secs. i mean i was like WOW and they were like WOW WOW and we were like WOW WOW WOW.
yeap so if u need healing u know who to look for. But well actually it's not difficult if u need healing. Just get a faith filled preacher to do the telling, You do the believeing then God do the healing.
Easy right so y wait! dial heaven's line today and get a preacher Right now! hmmpf.

Hardrock

Michelle ( haven't met her for like half a year hmm she's flying off again. Sianzzzz)

The Pic we took at Hardrock but look like we took it 20 years ago. By the way i think i know them for almost 7 years already.

Some colour!!

That's me.

To commence my new blog. A pic of me trying to act cool. heeezzzzz

The Scarlet Blossom

What onces was
is no more.
Fresh and alive
once
What now lays,
a withered glory.
Where is your beauty blossom?

What was that pain,
that you dyed yourself scarlet.

White and unblemished
Pure and all believing were you.

Where is love?
you ask.
pain and pain again is all you felt.
The pain of losing something so precious
forever.
Pain
Blossom, blossom
Why do you dye yourself blood red?

To be remembered
you say
To be remembered.


In rememberance of a girl i barely knew. Is it all worth it just to be remembered? Y do u corner youself to a way of no return?
Life is precious readers. Sometimes what lies before is just too difficult to unknot. But you know what the solution is?
Time.
Stick around and you will find your answer to whatever. Stick around!