Feeling Better!!!

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Was just praying just now. And i was quite discouraged about alot of things and i was complaining to god how i had all these flaws and sins in my life. And that they were stopping me from doing more for him. U know how it is when not alot is going your way and u start going about how bad u are that's why God's not using you. Blah Blah, i was was doing my fair share of it, then i think it really provoked God. I just felt something spoke in to my spirit like " what makes u think u are not good enough? And what makes u think that u not being used not because u have all these sins and not because i'm saving something bigger for you?" It was along these lines. I was quite shocked. I was really encouraged. I was singing this song and one of the lines went" Nothing that you have done could ever close the door." I just felt that that God looks beyond our sins and even in the midst of our imperfection, i think God can still use us. i Still remember something Xin Hong told me and that is when God saved us, God knew exactly what he was getting in to. He saved us for who we are. I just felt in my heart that God is a very stable God, He isn't panicking about a wrong bet he bought when we fall to sin. He knows that we will fall and yet still want us. i feel right now like i'm really good enough. But God in the meantime please really clean me up!

Mental tracks

Been having a crazy time of my life these past months. Things have been really rough but i'm glad i went through all the things i went through. Many things change and many cause and effects happened. Although i want to to say i have many regrets, i think i shouldn't regret anything that happened. I didn't like what i went through but i felt it was absolutely necessary i went through them. I'm off for a new start and over this period of time i think i have really grown as a person. Living for God isn't really an easy thing sometimes. It used to be a lot easier when i first started but as i moved on it really test my patience, or i should say everything. I'm glad I'm still a Christian after all this time. i was watching evans almighty the other day and something in it kind of ringed a bell. In the show God gave a few examples. He asked that if we prayed to be courageous, does god give u courage or give u an opportunity to be courageous? or if we ask that we have a closer family, does God give u a closer family or an opportunity to have a closer family? This kept me thinking. In my opinion it's both, first he gives the capacity then the opportunity. Then i thought again. We must be careful what we ask for. We ask that God give us patience, can u imagine what kind of people will let us meet or if we prayed that we want to do great works, can u imagine what kind of difficulty we have to face. We pray that we want to be secure, can u imagine the kind of things that will test ur security. I don't know about u but this tell me that we must be really careful what we ask for and more than just that, we really have to mentally prepare ourselves of what we will meet. i mean probably when u read this u go like oh i know that and stuff but when u go through difficult times, think about it, are u going to stand up to the test and remember that all these are just tests?
There is just so much out there that are waiting to tear us apart but yet none of that happens until u pray and are ready to face it. That's how good god is. i truly believe that God place everything in my life to grow me, no matter what.